Google
Yahoo

MUSIC LIBRARY SEARCH & LISTEN NEW!!!

DJ SERVICES and PRODUCTS

LOCAL WEDDING Business and Services: Champaign Bloomington Danville Mattoon Charleston Decatur Springfield

FunDJ.com Philosophy

U of I and IHSA State Football Championship University of Illinois Our BIG 2001 Show! They had us back for 2002 too!

Drowning In The Deep Blue

Something That Is Not FUN! Depression.

Why Discuss Depression? SSSShhhhhhh! Not so loud!
What Causes Depression
Do I Have Depression
What If I Don't Get Help?
How Can I Find Help For My Depression
How To Help Someone With Depression
Medicines To Treat Depression and How They Can Help
Resources and Links For Understanding Depression
Find additional resources at the Google search engine www.Google.com

You know that old saying "Be careful what you wish for" I always wanted to have a cause to help out or fight for. Cure world hunger, Big Brothers and Big Sisters program, or help the homeless and needy. Well I guess God had another plan for me.  It was not what I expected but I did get what I asked for. Absolutely, depression is a human condition that needs more attention, more acceptance and people to stand up and fight for its understanding.

I was always turned off by celebrities when they came out and spoke what was on their mind. Especially female comedians. There is a graveyard of examples. I use to love Roseanne Bar till she opened her mouth publicly.  Ellen DeGeneres a genius in comedy. It  really hurt to see her in the news and not funny. I saw her recently on HBO or Cinimax in a live performance. She is still very funny and I was glad to see her show that made me laugh. I will give her a break. I use to love Janeane Garofalo. To see her on Fox news arguing over the Iraq war made me disappointed. I couldn't believe it. And then there is Rosie Odonnell. Enough said. These tragedies came to mind when I first thought of standing up in defense of those suffering with depression, not strong enough or those embarrassed.

My first encouragement to come out into the open and talk about depression was inspired by a fellow brother DJ.  Jay Marvin a Chicago, Illinois DJ on WLS 980 AM radio. He has Bi Polar disorder and those words within them selves sound frightening to me. Isn't that what Frankenstein had? 2 poles sticking out his neck. Bi Polar. Manic depressive sounds much better to me.  ( :

Jay is completely open about everything on his mind and that is one reason for his success as a radio personality. He speaks what he thinks and that's who he is. It is never shocking or alarming what ever he is talking about because you are all ready numb to that just from listening to his program. He will discuss in detail all aspects of his condition. The good the bad, the ups and the downs. How it affected those around him and the way he views himself.  Medicine, therapy and counseling. How society is still not open to talk about mental disorders and how some are misunderstood or discriminated against. I was very impressed with his openness and it gave me a little ground to stand on. So, hats off to you Jay Marvin for your inspiration, encouragement, support and openness over the air waves. Sincerely, thank you Jay.

Why Discuss Depression?  SSSShhhhhhh! Not so loud!

Why discuss depression? There are people that need help and because of the stigma attached with depression they may delay or put off seeking help. If some one is suffering with depression time is not on their side. People are afraid, people are embarrassed, people misunderstand and people are misunderstood. Don't get me wrong, depression and how it is viewed has drastically changed in leaps and bounds within the last 10 years, 20 years, 30 years. Still no one wants to talk about it, people are uncomfortable listening and frankly I am not winning any popularity contests bringing it up. Not that I care. However, this is a very important issue that affects millions of people all around the world. This discussion is about finding  help or helping and understanding someone you know. It is not easy but it is best not to ignore what is real and not going away without some help. ( :

I personally want to talk about it because I know how severely hard it is to talk about it. I know how hard it is to admit to yourself you have a problem or someone you know has a problem. I understand what you are going through. I know because I have clinically diagnosed depression. It is not impressive or amazing. It is a very hard pill to swallow to talk about it in the open for the world to see. But you know what? It gets easier and I feel better. So if you can't deal with that you have a bigger problem than me! LOL If you think someone you know may be suffering with depression and you are concerned and want to help, great! That is wonderful news for them, that you care.

Isolation is a big problem with people that suffer with depression. They bring it on them selves and it perpetuates itself and becomes quicksand.  I remember wanting so bad to be around people, feeling incredibly lonely and yet stupid me was doing everything to avoid any human contact. LOL it is funny now that I have it in perspective. It is freaking beautiful that I can smile now to even talk about! It was the end of the world then.

Isolation is probably something you have all ready noticed. Here is the thing...they need help bad! They may not want your help. ( : You can't carry there load and don't!
You can't baby them and don't!

You can show them someone still cares. You can show them your love and your compassion by helping them, help them selves NOW! Make it clear you are always available to help them help themselves. That is all you can do. It is up to them to decide to help themselves and don't give up on them. Teach a man to fish...  ( : Thank god I had some irritating friends and family that would not let me quit on myself! lol I had to help myself. Those no good friends would not feel sorry for me or carry my load! ( : However, they were always there to listen to me but not feel sorry for me. They were always there with there hands and arms out whenever I needed them. ( :

I am not going to pretend I am a perfect Christian but I do believe in God and Jesus Christ. I was raised Catholic and beaten by nuns, true story.  ( :  lol. Seriously, (and this is rare) I do believe that prayer helps. I have seen some miracles through prayer...

I pray that if you are suffering with depression you find wisdom. You have to decide to pull yourself from the quicksand.  There are friends and family with their hands outward. There is no shame to accept a hand.  ( : I know it feels that way...get over it...you need positive people willing to help you help your self! ( : It is ok to ask for a hand. ( :

I pray that you realize everything is going to be ok if you decide to begin to get help. It is not your fault and you are not alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  There are millions who suffer with depression. There are millions of depression sufferers with millions of millions of caring friends and loved ones wanting to help. You have to break the isolation. Get out and talk to someone even though you don't want to. Get up and out now! Not because you want to but because you are taking care of yourself by getting connected. ( :

I pray you seek help and get your recovery started for yourself and those who need you. Talk to God as if he is sitting next to you. He will not verbally answer you but he is always listening and your prayers will be answered. ( :

To family and friends of those with depression, I pray you receive patience, determination and wisdom. Please have patience and understanding through out the rough times that seem like a thankless job. You offer your hand or a stick (so you don't get bitten) and you might be confused they don't want your stinking help! It is not you!!!!!! They are stuck in a very dark, lonely and confused place. They may want very badly to show you that they are ok by not accepting your help. This is because you matter so much to them they want your acceptance and are ashamed. They do want your help. They may not act that way.  ( :  Show them consistency of your love. Eventually, they will grab on to it like a life preserver. And that it is. I am so happy that you care. I empathize with you because you are suffering and frustrated too.  For now I thank you for them. ( : One day they will thank you as the realize how important and necessary your role was. They probably want to thank you all ready but feel shame. I know I did. ( :

I pray that those who do not understand or are afraid of those suffering with depression that you will become more compassionate and have the willingness to learn and realize the significance of love thy neighbor and we are our brothers keeper.

I pray that god will give you the motivation, strength, understanding and direction you need.

A frustrating and fearful aspect for someone suffering with depression is those who do not understand depression. In this day and age, yes, it is true. I have seen it first hand the results of ignorance. Many who do not understand depression believe that it is just a temporary or momentary state of mind. "Come on snap out of it". They assume they have felt bad before and they can relate. "Maybe you are just having a really bad day. Maybe you just need a nap".  I always feel better after a nap.  ( :

I have heard it a million times "oh that's normal, that would make me sad too, you just need to get past it, you shouldn't feel that way, it's not that big of a deal". Well at the least I do appreciate the compassion effort. This attempt is close but short of helping. It projects a judgment that ones feelings correct or not are not correct, not real or should not be as much, etc. Depression sufferers are torn between realizing I really do feel this way, however, I shouldn't feel this way and now it is emphasized how obviously simple the problem is and it shouldn't evoke that much emotion. Great, more things to worry about!

A good way to handle it may be to empathize with the persons feelings.  "I can understand how that makes you feel".   Then let it go. DO NOT impose how you would feel or how they should feel! Just an ear to listen to is wonderful without judgment on feelings. I believe this is speech and oral communications 101 but sometimes people not suffering with depression forget. We'll give you a break this time.

The more harmful view of depression is "you just need to be tough skinned like me"  I believe this is the tough love approach. "Hell, you just let to much shit bother you, snap out of it, your not tough enough. I had 3 dogs die on me last week, you don't know how bad things can be in life, when I was in grade school I had to walk 6 miles in snow with no shoes. You have it good. Hell you don't know what the meaning of depressing is". If this is you, believe it or not, depression is a little more complicated than that.

What Causes Depression

It is a fact that clinically diagnosed depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain thing. How many times have you heard that about every sickness, a chemical imbalance? Well it's true. The body and the brain is trying to protect itself. A depression sufferer and someone who has gone through a severe trauma will have similar brain chemistry. The brain does not let brain nerve cell endings called neurons send and receive neurotransmitters (brain chemicals) adequately. While passing brain chemicals from one brain cell to another some of this chemical is re-absorbed back in to the passing cell. Brain information being transmitted is slowed or not completely received and effects ones emotions. Depression occurs when transmission between brain cells are disrupted. 

Medicine anti depressants work like WD-40 for your brain cells. They allow the transfers of information to work as they are supposed to work. As you become less depressed your brain can adapt to the fact you are not depressed and correct the chemical in balance itself. This means medicines are not always a life long thing. Just a temporary life preserver to get you out of a deep blue hole you might not otherwise be able to get out of as quickly or at all. 

Think about it, really. How else can your brain tell it self your not depressed if you are depressed and probably getting deeper? You can't lie to your own brain. It is like quicksand. You know you want to be happy but you don't feel happy. Your brain knows this and tries to protect itself by numbing itself even more. The good and the bad. Every move you make pulls you down a little more.  

I think someone drowning in depression is the definition of the self fulfilling prophecy to the bad extreme. Telling yourself things are going to get worse. Negative self talk like a run away train. "I can't, Things are getting worse, I hate this, I am no good, I am not smart". You have to start introducing positives in your life if you want to survive. Positives that are all ready there but because of the depression and its numbing effects your senses just don't pick them up as clearly. Anti depressants can help your senses feel good again. I am not talking like alcohol belligerent. I am speaking of that simple but so important natural and real feeling that people without depression take for granted. That is why it is so hard for people not suffering from depression to understand depression. 

How can you describe what chicken tastes like to someone who has never eaten chicken. Or describe the absence of the taste of food to someone that has. It is not the same to describe the absence of taste just like the dilemma those suffering with depression face. Because it is the feelings induced by knowing what normal is supposed to be and that you can't have it. It is like sitting down for your most favorite birthday Sunday dinner at your moms and you have a cold. You can't taste the food. In your mind you know what it is supposed to taste like. That's a disappointment. Do you tell your mom how wonderful it tastes to not hurt her feelings? You better! Imagine if the taste nerve in you tongue were severed and you could never taste again. How would that effect your life?

If you catch yourself saying to yourself "I can't" instead say I can, I will. Replace the negative self talk with positive self talk even if you don't believe what you are saying believe that eventually you will believe and when you believe things will get better they will. Sounds like a positive plan.

Do I Have Depression?

The main difference between normal depression and not normal depression is the duration. If something bad happens sure that makes you sad. That is normal. But periods of deep depressing thoughts, sadness, moodiness, frequent and for no apparent reason crying for periods lasting weeks is a good sign you are in the category of highly likely.  And if you are not certain you should play it safe and make an appointment with a counselor who can help determine your feelings and state of mind.

The funny thing is (my mom would say that's not funny) that I was able to pass my depression off and pretend everything was OK on the outside to my peers and at times even convince myself. However, deep down I realized everything was not perfect. Feelings of happiness and other degrees of various emotions were not as sweet. I began to isolate myself from family, friends and even my own thoughts. Just drifting in a state of numbness. However, not comfortably numb.

When I first admitted to others I had this depression thing I was amazed how many people I knew were in the same boat. I guarantee there are people you know and would never guess have depression. The difficult barrier people have is no one wants to come out and say guess what I am going through? The important thing to understand you are definitely not alone, there is help and you can get back to living a normal life.

What If I Don't Get Help?

You could run out of time and time is not on your side. What ever you do, don't be embarrassed and don't put it off. I truly understand this may be difficult and why you procrastinate. 

I remember the exact day, moment, where I was at, what I was doing and even the weather when it all hit the fan. I was working down south by Carbondale, IL 4 hours from home when my thoughts all avalanched for no apparent reason. I hit bottom like never before. The bottom, the end. I searched logically for what truly was bothering me.  Through my deep sadness and tears that I couldn't explain to myself it finally hit me and I knew this is completely ridiculous. I shouldn't be this upset. I didn't have a reason and I couldn't make one up. 

I realized how stupid and stubborn I had been. So obvious and all along to not listen to myself and others and to suffer needlessly. I needed help and it all finally began to make complete sense. My tears of confused sadness turned into tears running down across the smile on my face as I broke those chains of my own stubbornness. I fortunately at that exact moment had the determination and the resources to get help.  I had a cell phone and a Champaign, IL phone book. 

Having been in that position I can see under different circumstances a different outcome. What if I was actually having a bad day and was able to justify feeling that bad? Or no phone, phone book, transportation or money to conveniently contact help? This is what scares me the most of those needing help. I was there at the edge looking over. I had thought about getting help a 100 times before that but didn't. Time is not on your side and under the right or wrong circumstances time can run out and paint you in a corner you can't get out of. 

Your health is more important than your feelings of embarrassment, doubt or belief you can fix it yourself. I always believed I could fix it myself because my depression would come and go like waves. I knew eventually I would feel better in weeks or months. Especially during winter months. With additional stress and trauma in my life the waves became one rising flood I couldn't handle without getting help. I thought I could. I knew I could. I was wrong. I am not embarrassed to admit that. I just hope it buys you more time than I allowed myself if you recognize what I am talking about.

When your health is better, you will also feel 100 times better. People are ready, willing and want to help you feel better. Later you may tell yourself you suffered to long and needlessly. Please do not put it off. When things go bad will you have the resources and the will to get help? Don't take a chance.

How Can I Find Help For My Depression

Do not be embarrassed. If it is an emergency call 911. They have resources to get you quickly in contact with the help you need.

If you have a little more time you can call your local hospital or clinic. They will have numbers available to get you help finding a counselor, medicine or in some facilities voluntary counseling if you are concerned about finances. Your work may also offer an employee assistance program that will protect your dignity and respect your privacy.

Probably the best thing you can do is talk to your family doctor. They can help evaluate if you need a counselor, psychiatrist or psychologist. If you need a little pick me up medicine without additional therapy your family doctor can answer antidepressant questions and concerns and prescribe them for you. You can begin treatment fairly quickly if you initiate the first steps. I can't stress it enough don't wait. If you are not sure it is better to be safe than sorry.

Educate yourself online. Get to know the beast. The more you understand the better off you will be.

How To Help Someone With Depression

I have to admit helping someone with depression is kind of the worst end of the stick to be on. I now can see how my depression affected those around me before I got help. Family, friends and anyone that came in contact with me. I can't completely imagine what it was like for them but I realize sometimes I leaned to hard on them. They suffered too.

Depression doesn't usually make complete sense to the person with depression let alone someone around them. Educate yourself on depression online, books at the library, your doctor, whatever. Educate yourself to the persons consistent behaviors. Learn the good and the bad. Come up with plans of action before an event takes place. Plans of action make behaviors easier to deal with when agreed upon in advance.

It is important they take their medicine.  Don't become the pharmacy police, but taking their medicine is noticeably important. They need to understand this ahead of time and there fore understand your persistence they keep their promise to get better. They are depended upon and they need that medicine to be dependable.

Try not take undesirable behaviors personally but a heads up warning that something may not be right or maybe medicine needs adjustment. This does not mean put up with unacceptable behavior. If behaviors begin to change for the negative then perhaps it is time for re-evaluation. Get counseling, medicine, change of medicine dosage or brand, etc. Very important. Don't mess around and delay. Stay on top of it. At first it may seem overwhelming but things will smooth out eventually and become predictable. Family, friends and those with depression can work together and get through this. We all need each other eventually under different circumstances, at different times and different degrees.

Medicines To Treat Depression and How They Can Help

I had been in counseling before I hit bottom with my depression as described above What If I Don't Get Help?  My counselors had suggested I try an antidepressant. I didn't want to depend on a drug to have to cope with life. It made me think of the movie "One Flew Over Thee Coo Coos Nest" with Nurse Ratchet calmly and methodically speaking into the psychiatric ward microphone "medication time, medication time". I am completely serious. 

The day I hit bottom was the day I realized if I wanted to live then I had to accept and be completely open to medication time. I want to say this because the medication that can save your life you probably don't want to take. I fought it for maybe 2 years against my doctors wishes. If you are afraid of taking antidepressants you are not alone. However, I know for a fact there are two things you don't know.

1. You will want to take the medicine when you realize its benefits. The medicine can completely change your life and put it back to normal. If you need to be on an antidepressant you will realize its benefits and prefer to use them. You are in control how long you stay on them and you don't have to stay on them forever.

2. There is a far bigger more ultimate thing to fear by not taking the medicine. No matter what you fear by taking the medicine is nothing compared to hitting the bottom and what is there. You just don't realize this. It took a hard lesson that I fortunately survived from to learn this.

These medicines can help. I remember that first pill in my fingers. Wondering what is this going to do to me after I swallow this. Will I ever have control again? Will I become a Stepford Husband? That day I didn't notice anything at all. I kept at it and days and weeks past. Nothing. 

When I first began to see the benefits they were small little things.  I was wearing sandals and on a unusually warm early spring day when the air brushed across my toes and made me feel very happy. Spring was coming back. Happy! I had forgot that feeling over something so simple. I could think of all kinds of things that should have made me happy and didn't weeks before. I paused to enjoy it. 

As time passed more happiness and joy would return to my life, as well as, strength. My moods were more stable and less fluctuating.  When something stressful would happen I felt noticeably strong and capable of dealing with it. 

That is my best and simple description of how you would notice the benefits. This is not how I anticipated this medicine would help me. I believe those who fear the anti depressants think the medicine will do something other than what it will do for you.

I don't want to go into great detail about the many different types of anti depressants. I mainly wanted to point out their usefulness and ease the fears of those who maybe need them but against their doctors wishes refuse to begin taking any prescription medicine for depression. Some people are afraid to take medicine. Some people do not want to have to depend on a medicine that can help them. Some people think that they can fix their depression without it.  These medicines can turn your life around and head you in the right direction. These medicines can positively impact your emotions and thoughts and bring happiness and a feeling of control back. These medicines can and will pull you out of the deep blue. Don't be afraid, stubborn or whatever that stops you from taking a anti depressant if your doctor has said you need it. Please, give it a try. It can only help.

Medicine may take 4 weeks to start noticing the affects so you must be patient and consistent. Sometimes people around you will notice a difference before you do and this might be you first experience with the medicines success. Be patient.

Antidepressants do not have to become a life long treatment. Many are used only for a period of time. Depression can subside and you can reduce or stop treatment and there after live a completely normal life. If depression comes back you can always start back on it again but do not feel like it is a ball and chain because it is not. You will more than likely realize its benefits and want to take the medicine if you need it.

Resources and Links For Understanding Depression